I am always typing out whatever I feel like blogging on notepad nowadays when I have no internet connection. Actually I do have internet connection now but I'm too lazy to walk out to Starbucks. I know it's just a 100m walk or less than but I'm so lazy. Tooty is offline anyway.

Was supposed to be "celebrating my birthday" with VACH today at Angela's house but I couldn't go because my dad refused to let me leave the house. Could tell that he was rather pissed off. He scrreamed at me to pack my stuff and keep the clothes in. And I screamed right back at him that I would. Oh well life's like that. I'll just have to suck it up.

This reminds me that I'm going to be 18 soon. In about 1 week and 1 day more. I have always wanted to be 18. You know? That feeling that you have when you're a kid. You always wanted to be 16 because it seems like a milestone in life. Then when you are 16, you look forward to being 18. Don't really feel like being 18 now when it's really approaching. Makes me feel older than ever.

I've been looking back into the past for quite some time now ever since Tooty went offline at 0545. Oh he came online just to accompany me though he was sleepy and all. Gave me e-squishes and e-kisses haha. Told me that I will always be his baby forever. Yes he does treat me like his baby, he's forever caring about how my clothes are out of place or whether is there something on my face and all that. Then he'll adjust them for me and wipe the stuff away if any. Isn't he the best boyfriend ever?

So anyway, back to the looking back into the past thing. I realised that everyone looks back in time once in awhile at some point of their life. To look at the things they have done. Most people probably just regret but for me, I think I'm different. I don't regret. Instead I try to learn from whatever mistakes I made. For example, I am taking it in my stride about the fact that Tooty can't remember whether my birthday is on the 20-27 March or what. Or the fact that he can't remember the tiniest details that matters to me. The real fact is that he is trying real hard to make me the happiest girlfriend ever. And I want to thank him for that. For trying to be the best ever. Yes you are good enough Tooty.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't growing more practical as I grow older. When I was young let's say about 14, the rough idea that I remember about me was that I was happy just thinking about getting married to my then boyfriend one day and all that other simple stuff in life. But now I have more wants than ever. Not that I can't fulfill them but I'm too lazy to do so. I can't be bothered to work really hard for something I want. I am totally dependent on Tooty now. It's like he always tries to get me whatever I want. Don't think this sort of reliance is healthy but it's okay because I know he'll always be there.

Like for example, I would always worry about whether he truely loves me or that he will be with me forever last time. But now I can confirm that he truely loves me and will always be there for me till forever. It's the feeling of assurance I never really had. I'm quite a worrywart at times. But from the last squabble we had, I knew that we had to built our relationship on faith and trust or we might as well ... like Tooty said. He never thought I would say that I thought we were walking down the same path in a different way. Well I didn't really mean that, I guess my phrasing was wrong. I'm sorry that I hurt you Tooty. And probably caused you to hate Twitter forever. I don't tweet anymore too anyway.

Let me ask you a question. Which guy would call you every night for at least half an hour? Which guy would try and fulfill every of your want? Which guy would randomly tell you about how much he loves you? Which guy would wake up early in the morning just to see you? Which guy would try and pick you up from any place that you're at? Which guy would buy you random food because he knows you would want some? Which guy would try and surprise you with little but sweet thoughtful things? Well my boyfriend would. But he's mine!!

I am in fact totally happy with that we decided to be together again. As the chinese saying goes, "好马不吃回头草", I would beg to differ. My mum wrote that on a note and she also wrote "不要 get too close with Stefan okay?" with that. Maybe it's true that people should know wiser than to walk down the same path again when they had failed last time. But this path may just lead somewhere else after sometime.

It has almost been half a year already and everything felt like it just happened. That windy day at the beach. That day in the library with the strange old man that seemed like our matchmaker. That day where we sat outside Plaza Singapura to wear our rings. Those days at the chalet. Those days at my house. Those days at the school hostel. Those days of going out to nowhere but just that we felt like having each other's company. Those days at your house. I loved each and every single day and will continue to do so.

Wonder why this blog entry is never ending? And that it is probably fucking long. Okay it is fucking long. Actually I just feel like typing. Because I have short nails now and I like typing alot. I think most of it is probably my thoughts and how I am feeling right now. Nobody would read it anyway. But if you manage to survive till this line over here. Congratulations.

I feel like having a sushi buffet again. H12 girls!!

13 more minutes to breakfast. I can't wait. It's 0647 now anyway.