Hi everyone. I know I didn't touch this space for a very long time. It's just cause whenever I use the laptop which is like a few hours a day or not at all, I would be dota-ing with my most favourite person on Earth. If I'm not doing this, I'm probably embarking on the journey of a 5000 word essay.. Besides this I'm always going out with Tooty and the girls.

Okay I'm going to have lunch with Tooty now then bowling and whatsoever with the girls haha. Oh well I think I have so much to blog about. Abrupt end for now.

I've been giving in to my stupid fucked up brother my whole life. Giving in because I thought he'll be happier that way. Actually it's just that I'll feel bad about arguing with my brother all the time. Ain't families supposed to be happy and loving? Anyway I think I spoilt him. So now I'm stuck in a fucked up situation. Maybe it was my fault from the start. If only I didn't spoil him.

He kept wanting to watch Just Another Pandora Box with me and I kept refusing because the showtimes were always around 2300++ when I was supposed to be online talking to my most favourite person on Earth. So today is the second day here and the tickets for the 2100 tickets were sold out. He suggested watching Alice in Wonderland but I already watched that and I knew my mum would want to watch it with us. And it was at 2315. So I rejected his offer yet again. Just as we were leaving the cinema area, on the escalator, he threw a tantrum. I wanted to go to Macdonald's to buy their porridge because I didn't have dinner and I was craving for it. Instead he passed 10 bucks to me and asked me to make my own way there and come back after that. The fact that he was already ignoring me before that just because I kept showing that I loved Tooty more didn't help. I was pissed off and I just walked away from him towards Macdonald's.

As you know, chinese people are always very superstitious. They believe that if their family wasn't happy and loving. They wouldn't win money when they bet. Besides my dad was on a winning streak. He had 6k RM stored away and he already spent around 1k plus on us and his friends. He kept treating them to lunch, dinner and all that. Well I don't mind sharing the joy. So anyway I went back to the hotel room before my dad left because I wanted to let him know that my stupid brother and I weren't on good terms for now. At least I caught him just as he was leaving the hotel room and walking down the corridor.

I told him the whole story and like me, he tried to please my brother by saying "Let's go watch Just Another Pandora Box at 0130 or Alice in Wonderland at 1115. To his dismay, my brother said that he was angry and didn't want to watch any. See, I think we all spoilt him. My dad sat around for awhile and after my brother started talking to him peacefully, he wanted to leave for gambling. He was saying "Don't angry already okay? Have a nice talk you two, don't fight". My reply was obviously yes. I for one cannot stay angry at my brother. He went on to say "Oh don't need to speak better".

He was blaming me for the fact that he can't watch his movie together with me. Oh well this part here will be for another day if you really want to know. He is freaky and I had a dream when I knocked out about three hours ago before all this happened. Maybe it was a sign. That dream was scary enough though. All this involves Tooty, my brother and me.

So maybe from now on I wouldn't talk to him ever again. This is a very tough decision to make and I know I always fail because I said it a thousand times and didn't do it.

Typing all this out makes me feel so much better. Actually I just want to go talk to Tooty online but I think he'll still be riding now so I'm not going down. I'm really hungry now because its 2100 now and I still don't have dinner. I need food. I'm upset.

I'm still as upset as ever. Maybe I'm just stupid. Shrink shrink shrink..

I am always typing out whatever I feel like blogging on notepad nowadays when I have no internet connection. Actually I do have internet connection now but I'm too lazy to walk out to Starbucks. I know it's just a 100m walk or less than but I'm so lazy. Tooty is offline anyway.

Was supposed to be "celebrating my birthday" with VACH today at Angela's house but I couldn't go because my dad refused to let me leave the house. Could tell that he was rather pissed off. He scrreamed at me to pack my stuff and keep the clothes in. And I screamed right back at him that I would. Oh well life's like that. I'll just have to suck it up.

This reminds me that I'm going to be 18 soon. In about 1 week and 1 day more. I have always wanted to be 18. You know? That feeling that you have when you're a kid. You always wanted to be 16 because it seems like a milestone in life. Then when you are 16, you look forward to being 18. Don't really feel like being 18 now when it's really approaching. Makes me feel older than ever.

I've been looking back into the past for quite some time now ever since Tooty went offline at 0545. Oh he came online just to accompany me though he was sleepy and all. Gave me e-squishes and e-kisses haha. Told me that I will always be his baby forever. Yes he does treat me like his baby, he's forever caring about how my clothes are out of place or whether is there something on my face and all that. Then he'll adjust them for me and wipe the stuff away if any. Isn't he the best boyfriend ever?

So anyway, back to the looking back into the past thing. I realised that everyone looks back in time once in awhile at some point of their life. To look at the things they have done. Most people probably just regret but for me, I think I'm different. I don't regret. Instead I try to learn from whatever mistakes I made. For example, I am taking it in my stride about the fact that Tooty can't remember whether my birthday is on the 20-27 March or what. Or the fact that he can't remember the tiniest details that matters to me. The real fact is that he is trying real hard to make me the happiest girlfriend ever. And I want to thank him for that. For trying to be the best ever. Yes you are good enough Tooty.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't growing more practical as I grow older. When I was young let's say about 14, the rough idea that I remember about me was that I was happy just thinking about getting married to my then boyfriend one day and all that other simple stuff in life. But now I have more wants than ever. Not that I can't fulfill them but I'm too lazy to do so. I can't be bothered to work really hard for something I want. I am totally dependent on Tooty now. It's like he always tries to get me whatever I want. Don't think this sort of reliance is healthy but it's okay because I know he'll always be there.

Like for example, I would always worry about whether he truely loves me or that he will be with me forever last time. But now I can confirm that he truely loves me and will always be there for me till forever. It's the feeling of assurance I never really had. I'm quite a worrywart at times. But from the last squabble we had, I knew that we had to built our relationship on faith and trust or we might as well ... like Tooty said. He never thought I would say that I thought we were walking down the same path in a different way. Well I didn't really mean that, I guess my phrasing was wrong. I'm sorry that I hurt you Tooty. And probably caused you to hate Twitter forever. I don't tweet anymore too anyway.

Let me ask you a question. Which guy would call you every night for at least half an hour? Which guy would try and fulfill every of your want? Which guy would randomly tell you about how much he loves you? Which guy would wake up early in the morning just to see you? Which guy would try and pick you up from any place that you're at? Which guy would buy you random food because he knows you would want some? Which guy would try and surprise you with little but sweet thoughtful things? Well my boyfriend would. But he's mine!!

I am in fact totally happy with that we decided to be together again. As the chinese saying goes, "好马不吃回头草", I would beg to differ. My mum wrote that on a note and she also wrote "不要 get too close with Stefan okay?" with that. Maybe it's true that people should know wiser than to walk down the same path again when they had failed last time. But this path may just lead somewhere else after sometime.

It has almost been half a year already and everything felt like it just happened. That windy day at the beach. That day in the library with the strange old man that seemed like our matchmaker. That day where we sat outside Plaza Singapura to wear our rings. Those days at the chalet. Those days at my house. Those days at the school hostel. Those days of going out to nowhere but just that we felt like having each other's company. Those days at your house. I loved each and every single day and will continue to do so.

Wonder why this blog entry is never ending? And that it is probably fucking long. Okay it is fucking long. Actually I just feel like typing. Because I have short nails now and I like typing alot. I think most of it is probably my thoughts and how I am feeling right now. Nobody would read it anyway. But if you manage to survive till this line over here. Congratulations.

I feel like having a sushi buffet again. H12 girls!!

13 more minutes to breakfast. I can't wait. It's 0647 now anyway.

How do they make cookies this amazingly beautiful? Anyway I have no skills at decorating..

The IT Fair was rather disappointing for almost alot of the promoters for all brands. Sales was bad.

My company the sales representative was a wonderful guy but there was some branding problem. Nobody seems to know what kind of brand Axioo is.

I had some personal issues at the start and I refused to sell any because I thought the laptops were faulty. I would feel really bad selling faulty products to people because I'm also a consumer myself. You wouldn't like to get cheated would you?

So anyway on the third day in the evening, some repeat customers came back and told me that this brand is really value for money and it doesn't have much problems. Technically I only started selling on the fourth day. Hahahaha so loser right? IT Fair only 4 days okay!!

I get to go to work and come home with Tooty everyday. That was the part I looked forward to the most. The rest of the time, I would be wishing that it will be going home soon!! Tooty got me and my friends donuts from Donut Factory which is quite far from the convention hall. He's so nice!! And he got me popcorn on a different day from HP or some other brand. Heheh he's like my source of motivation to stay on at the IT Fair or I would have already quit on the second day..

Working with Angela and Vanessa was quite fun. We get our girl's talk and all that crap whenever we are free and slacking heheh. I think I'll be seeing them on Wednesday.

Okay I don't wanna blog anymore. Shall upload the photos from baking at Gwen's house another day. Maybe tomorrow or something then you can see how good Sammy, Wanleng and I am at decorating with icing haha.

I'm smelling burnt stuff now, I think it's the haze >:(

It's super irritating when all that smell blocks up your nose and then you can't smell anything for a long after that because all you smell is burnt stuff.. And it makes you break out in cold sweat and yet feel fucking warm at the same time for no reason.

OMFG!!

Did I ever mention how much I hate thinking about how this kind of food or that kind of food will make people fat? Went for IT fair job briefing today with two of my girls today and found out that they are really obsessed with fats so much so that it freaks me out. I don't care how fat it will make you because I think you only have one life. Live it the way you want to.

Besides obsessing about fats, I think they didn't change much. Still pretty much the same people that I know from secondary school. Loud and crazy. Can't wait to work with them :)

Anyone wanting to buy laptops can come to me okay!! I'm selling Axioo laptops, I can assure you it's not a China brand nor is it made in China. It's produced in Singapore!! The price range is from $499 to $999. Lai lai lai buy laptop from me!! Got Nvidia graphic card so you can play Dota somemore :)

Or you can go look for my Tooty at Dell. Yes we are both working at the IT fair which means that we can go to work and come back home together everyday heheh.

I seriously believe the world is ending pretty soon. I still smell the haze now. Fuck I hate the haze, it's fucking smelly and people like me who have a strong sense of smell will feel fucked up. But my Tooty just told me something. He was saying that he wish he can bring me to his room and on the aircon so there won't be the smell and we can sleep. He's really lovely. Makes me smile when I'm feeling very irritated or upset.

On a random note I just realised that me and Tooty are back to this contrast of skin colour again, he's fucking black again!! I peeled off all his cracking and flaking skin hahah. Sounds disgusting right?

A miscalculation of time ended up in me waiting for my Tooty for 2 hours on Sunday. I sat by Kallang MRT station's staircase staring blankly at all the passerbys. But it was worthed the wait because all good things are worthed waiting for. Went to VivoCity, we got some sushi from Giant upon arriving cause I was awfully hungry. That stupid boy is addicted to tempura sushi because that's the only sushi he will want to buy.

Walked around abit before buying "One Long Stick for $3.50". It's a chewy sweet with a soft centre. Tooty loves it alot that he kept sneaking pieces into his mouth on the way back because he says that we cannot eat on trains or we wll get caught and have to pay fines. Then he didn't let me drink my water cause I cannot sneak a sip of water from the bottle..

Tooty's house on Monday heheh. We were supposed to go swim but I reached close to 0900 so we just lazed around. I am afraid of the sun cause I don't want to be black like my Tooty!! Anyway we bathed and then ordered KFC and played Dota while waiting for it to arrive.

Tooty was so amazed because it only took 10minutes for KFC to come. We kept encountering critical/fatal error and after we switched to another computer. The computer just blacked out and died. Tooty was left in control of my Ursa and he kena the critical/fatal error after the some time lol. We kept arguing about the critical/fatal error because I kept saying it was critical error then he kept saying that it was fatal error only to realise that its both kinds of error..

Okay abrupt end cause I still smell the fucking haze and I want to sleep now. Baking at Gwen's tomorrow. Yes!!

I haven't blogged for such a long time. I really love the holidays!! Being able to do what I like best at anytime of the day. So up till now, I have been to Tooty's house millions of times, went out with Tooty millions of times, been to my grandmother's house (I shall blog about my grandmother's house someday I guess), been to work, been watching shows, been Dota-ing with my favourite person on Earth!

Blogging is like keeping some form of diary. Helps you look back and think, doesn't it? Maybe I should start blogging more often. My memories are really so mixed up..

I have pictures but I'm lazy to upload them. Sorry too bad.

Everyone should play Dota :)

Hi Tooty I love you!! <3