I am looking at the polytechnic's COP. Alot of courses require like 10 or 11 or 12 for their COP.

Assuming that I'll be getting a C5 for my EL, B3s for the rest and my chinese A1 then my ELR2B2 will be like 13 after deducting cca points.

Because I can't get A1s or A2s anymore.

Ohmygod, I'm so bloody screwed lah.

Imagine I get B4s and C5s all the way. BECAUSE I DIDN'T STUDY!

And then dar will nag till I die because he thinks I'm slack.

This is a screwed up world.

I WILL DIE CAUSE I'M F-ING SLACK.

I screwed up my maths and sciences, so I shall pray that my humanities will be strong strong strong so that my ELR2B2 will be good good good.

Guess what this is my number 200 post and I am talking about my own failure.

Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it's over now (but it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

Ohmywhathefagod.

Anyway, physics is coming and I am supposed to be studying.

There is someone feeling very pissed off with me now.

What am I supposed to do when I totally abhor physics.

I am such a biology student.

I know I made that stupid mistake and I regret times a ten thousand.

I should be making up for it by studying but I am so not doing that.

I hate you physics.

I HATE YOU TO THE CORE.

I hate you even more now.

Forget it. I hate you like there's no tomorrow.

Yeah, I think I can't survive.

It's no use being close friends because I really dislike whatever you do, a leopard will not change its spot. Or it can't. I can't remember. I give up.

I give up so easily nowadays.

Hahaha, I wrote formal letter format for report. GREAT.

Amaths is terrible for me yet everyone says it's easy.

Geog tomorrow. Hope I can remember.

Okay, I am so goddamnit dead.

I am just taking O'levels for the sake of taking it and I DO NOT EVEN HAVE AN AIM.

I don't even know what I want to do. Or where I want to go.

Sick man.

Chemistry was pretty fine. Minus all the correct answers that I canceled away plus all those theories that I'm not so sure of plus all the careless mistakes here and there. Okay, this sounds like plentiful already.

O'level chemistry must be the best exam ever compared to the past year papers and stupid AHS papers that I do.

It's the best, no doubt. I love you chem. I wish you would let me add an A1 in my collection of good and lousy results.

I seriously hope that even after moderation, I would still get a B3.

Okay, physics. I totally do not know you at all. But I will make friends with you, like how I made friends with stoichiometry, electrolysis, metals and the list goes on.

I know that these newly made friends of mine would not be of much help in my working life, but at least they will get me the key to open the door to my future.

I want a master key. One that unlocks everything.

But it's impossible to craft it in such a short time. So just a silver key would be enough. Better than that of steel, copper or bronze.

I realised that there is more to life than what I see now. I can't put this feeling into words because I suck at describing stuff and making myself clear.

Maybe sometimes letting go is better than holding on. Amaths, goodbye. I will still try my best but I know I would fail you. Because I am not worthy of a pass considering my standards right now.

Just give me a chance, let me be enlightened. Untangle the web of confusions in my mind. Let me do my best, just for this once.

I know you reap what you sow. I'm not too hopeful.

It's the amount that you invest in that makes the day. Not fairytales.

There might be miracles.

Ironic, ain't I?

Happy 13month dearest, sorry I forgot about it.

A few more hours to the start of O levels. I can say that I'm not really prepared for it but at least I tried. GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

So in a few days.

On tuesday,
I gamed with my brother. Oh, I didn't say that at all.

On wednesday,
I've studied with angela at whitesands. Was really fun bitching about people. Freezing cold. Studying and looking at people is really cool.
Also studied with dar and max at dar's house. Big and beautiful house. He says it's a pleasure to have me there, lol! And the house has a lift in it, it's only four storeys. And my fatty darling even takes the lift up to his room which is on the second storey. And his maid whips up nice dishes, no wonder my dar is growing. Fat. Okay lah, he not that fat, hahaha.

On thursday,
Slept the whole day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER :D

On friday, which is today.
Boring graduation day that is wasted.
Waste of time seriously.
The first in standard didn't even bother turning up.
I wonder why we turned up when we're nothing.


AND I WON'T BE SIGNING UP FOR THE TPrawks camp because on the 17, I've some ear thing. Then the 19 is special to me, so yeah. Why does this sound like the ngee ann camp instead?... Are they the same thing occurring on the same date... Shit.

I've a blocked nose. I know the reason why and it's a stupid fag reason.

Somebody told me that boyfriends are meant to add colour to my life just like hues, but the primary colours are already there from me, myself. Not to say that I've boyfriends simultaneously, it's just an expression but yeah. I just got enlightened, it's high time I woke up from my dream of candies and cotton floss.

So am I to say that I've given up?

Or it is just that the clock is ticking life away.

I know what's going to happen. I can predict things.

I'm tired and sick of all these repetitions. I bet you are too. Do we've to go over the same things again and again?

I want to give up totally, but I know I can't.


So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same


So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

Life has been boring. Everyone is out studying. Everyone is going on a hiatus since long ago. Everyone is asking me to study. Yeah, you get the idea.

I've gotten alot of weird answers, I wonder why. Maybe someone is playing a prank on everyone else. A fine prank that is. Great master of deception. I WILL NOT FALL FOR YOUR TRICK YOU IDIOT! After testing the system, just type out any shit you like and you think I won't know and would actually believe that shit? I know you know all of us. And you were once in the same class as those listed. Don't think I would believe you, because the timings are close and the answers you gave are just rumours. Okay, this is just a silly game anyway. I must be out of my mind to be ranting about the stupid answers that I got. Thanks to my brother. Hmm...

Mummy and daddy went off to genting for three days without us, that sucks right? But at else now we've the whole house to ourselves. Think we're gonna starve or die. I don't feel like mopping or sweeping the floor or doing the laundry but I've to. My brother has to wash the dishes, both of us has to cook. Yes, cook. So I'm gonna just die of hunger.

The bestest boyfriend you can have is to have one that is willing to be your night watch when you're out camping with your girls. Hahaha, so sweet right?

Anyway, I'm damn bored so bye.

AND EAR DOCTOR TOMORROW. SPECIALIST THEY CALL IT.

Woohoo, play with this everyone :D

Quite accurate one okay!

And if dar sees this, he should do it, hahaha.

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

Now I've another email selling me viagra.

blosniolron@hotmail.com

Like what the fag lah seriously.

Viagra only $1, eat already can just die immediately and why is everyone selling viagra for?

The last day of school just whizzed past.

Nothing much to say, the girls are creating a blog and other stuff to keep in contact because they think that if they don't, I would be the first to hibernate and just lose all contact with them. Maybe they do know me too well. I would certainly miss them alot. They gave me a wonderful present, 2years of nonsense and gossips. I will always remember you girls, VACH eh? Vanessa, angela, cheryl. And of course hams, des, jolynn and rechelle.

And also not to forget my dear CO girls. Wenxin, yiting, vivian, eunice, guiyue, doreen, christina.

Little ant will never be forgotten, no matter what course she takes or where she goes.

Everyone is so into blogging about how they will miss school and school life and getting sentimental now.

I'm a sec4 now.
One that is not ready to take her Os.

I've changed alot. I used to type in ways that make people misunderstand my intentions. I don't know if it's for the better or the worse, maybe I was more intelligent before. But I was a misleading kid. I'm sorry for all those things that I've put you people through by being in my life, be it as my friends or my boyfriend.

We could all take a bow,
after this last performance.
Nobody's gonna tell if you're hurting,
they'll be enjoying the moment.
So smile genuinely,
for this is the one last time.
And it'll all be zilch after this.

Actually, I don't know what that meant. Maybe rereading my old blogposts got into me -.-

Do you really know me?

Leave your thoughts

Goodbye

But it's a part of me

Nerve wrecking ain't it?