Thursday, January 17
9:26:00 PM
Everyone please do not read this, because it is an emo post and the person who it is meant for will never visit this blog, so don't read this post at all.
READ THE YELLOW PART ONLY~ Just posting for I want to remember how stupid a person like me can get, lol!
I am sitting infront of the computer now, and I haven't bathed. I am feeling very emo now, very very emo, I am crying infront of the computer now and the tears are blurring up the stupid screen. Twice found, twice gone. My hands are cold and I can feel the sourness tingling at my fingertips. Yes, my heart is very sour now. I have never felt this way ever since that day last year. I have never felt this way even on that day last year. It seemed so close, yet so far away. Why is this feeling coming to me? Why am I crying? Why do I have to be so useless? I thought it didn't matter. I thought it wouldn't matter, but it does. It does matter somehow, somewhat to me. Only I didn't know. Nothing you can do, could make him love you more and nothing you've done could make him close the door. This is great love. There is no such love in the world. I feel like I'm converting to being a christian now, because of that phrase but I'm not going to do so. Why do I want you? Am I looking for love the wrong way? I don't know. I don't need love from you, I need it from my family. But why do I miss you so? I hope you're doing fine now, without me. I hope you're doing great now, without me. I hope you've found your trust in everyone else, without me. I hope your new life is fantastic, without me. I hope that I never knew you. Because you can pick it up and let it go. It's time to let go long ago, but I'm still crying. I thought that I've already let go, but it seems like I've not. Maybe just today, I shall indulge in my tears. Like what the hell? I should grow up. Even though you will never read this but I shall just type it out for the sake of my all for crying, lol! Maybe this is just one of those emo days that I'll never have again. So I'll cry my all and go and bath, lol!
I keep hearing from people that there is chem test tomorrow, haha.
Okay, I'm feeling cheery now after typing all those crap out, lol! Tomorrow is Vivien Laodajie's Birthday and I would like to say an early birthday to her if she even reads my blog, lol! I love little ant, wenxin, teddybear, kaho, cheryl tan and my family, lol!
